Tuesday, March 03, 2009

Comparisons

I read a post at Modern Goddess Online this morning which set me thinking. The post is about self esteem and goes on to give 3 points for building our self esteem

1. Stop comparing yourself to others
2. Identify what is important to you.
3. Love yourself.

I have been thinking a lot about this lately. In January I wrote a post called "Success is in the company you keep" which looked at why we liked to stay in our own little circles of people who are pretty much just like us. One of the reasons we don't move on is because we are always comparing ourselves to others and guess what? We don't measure up. The only people we can measure up to are in the circles we hang around in and that is why we stay there. Our fear of failure and rejection is like a padlock on the door of our futures.

When we compare ourselves to others that we admire we are always going to come out the loser. Why? Because we set others on a pedestal and create an inflated image of their supposed virtues. We create a scale to measure against that is artificial. It cannot take into account the flaws and weaknesses of the admired person because we are unable to see them. We know our weaknesses so well (and our potential so little) that the scale is unbalanced and when we measure ourselves using the same scale we rate poorly.

Loving yourself, which is the third point in building your self-esteem, is all about appreciating who you are and accepting your good and bad points. Everyone has them whether we can see them or not. If we can learn to appreciate ourselves for who we are we will have no need for comparisons. All we need is to know where we are going and to follow our dreams. Loving yourself will give you the key to the padlock and will set you freely on the road to your future.

Whether yours is a business dream or a personal one, stop looking at everyone else and start looking at yourself. There you will find your path.